Support the Potty Watch and Win! June 30, 2008

If you’ve not yet heard of the Night Time Helper Potty Watch, please see these related posts for background information:

Fearless Friday – Inventor Lisa Charleston

Please Help This Woman Achieve Her Dream

So many people who have met Lisa are in agreement that this is a wonderful invention and a worthy cause that several fundraising activities are taking place right now.

Potty Watch Raffle At iEmporium

Our first raffle is up and running! ALL proceeds from this raffle will go to our first worthy cause! Lisa and The Potty Watch!

Through the generosity of some of our members we have an incredible package to raffle off with a value of $450! Raffle tickets are $5 each. The raffle will run until July 7, 2008. Everyone can participate, this is not limited to iEmporium members! So get people involved! To purchase a ticket, press on the Chip In button. You will be taken to Paypal where you can send money. In the notes section please be sure to put how many tickets you want.

Prizes include:
$50 gift certificate to Barefoot Parties
$50 gift certificate to Lady Language
Black & White Pearl Silver Sterling Neckace (valued at $350)
From Lady Lynn’s Boutique

Thanks to Michelle and Lynn for their donations!

I can not get the widget to work here so please go to The iEmporium Main Page to get your tickets!

Finders Keepers Jewelry Fundraising Sale

Save 10% off your entire purchase from Finders Keepers Jewelry through July 15. 10% of total sales will be donated to the Night Helper prototype fund. Use discount coupon code LISA at checkout.

Fearless Friday – Vintage Body Spa, LLC June 27, 2008

Fearless Fridays are rolling around so quickly these days! Our treat this week is Alyssa Middleton of Vintage Body Spa, LLC and the timing couldn’t be better. Alyssa just found out that one of her products was accepted for inclusion into the Femail Creations/Barefoot Parties Holiday Catalog! Alyssa’s interview covers all of the issues that we’re all experiencing and are concerned with.  She’s been very honest and thorough – I forgot to tell her that she didn’t have to answer all of the questions!

Please join me in thanking her for sharing her expertise and toasting to her continued success!

How were you inspired to create your own business?

I wish I could claim that I created Vintage Body Spa. In actuality, it was started in 2005, and I purchased the company in September 2007. My daughter was diagnosed with eczema when she was an infant, and I had been searching online for natural products to use on her skin. I came across Vintage Body Spa, loved the formulas and learned that the company was for sale. I fully believe that it was a Divine encounter, as everything fell into place very easily, and I took over ownership in 2007.

I had made bath & body products, candles and soaps as a hobby years prior, and loved creating new items and giving them as gifts. Purchasing Vintage Body Spa enabled me to turn that hobby into a business and work from home while raising our daughter.

Did you have role models in your immediate family or mentors who supported you?

My grandparents had their own woodworking business, and my mother has had her own business as a seamstress since before I was born. Growing up, I loved to watch them create things from scratch and seeing their pride in a job well done. It was a blessing for my mom to be at home with her kids and have the flexibility in her schedule to attend all of our events and activities. I’m convinced that is why we’re still so close today. I want to be there like that for my daughter as she grows.

How did you choose your product?

Some of the product formulas are from the original owner. They’re great formulas, and they have a loyal following, so there was no need to change them. Then I looked at the current offerings and made a list of what was missing – other items that could be added to help to create an indulgent spa experience at home – and have been working off of that list. Formulas go through a lot of testing with my family and me before they are ever sent to my tester panel – men and women of different ages, skin types, etc. I collect comments and feedback and make alterations and send out another round (or two, however many it takes) until the panel approves. Then the product is released to the public. We’ve released two products since purchasing Vintage Body Spa (massage oil and whipped shea butter) and I’m very excited to be releasing 5-6 additional products by the end of the summer, just in time for the holiday shopping season!

How did you fund your start-up?

I had a loan for the purchase of the business. When new supplies, packaging, etc is needed I reinvest profits rather than borrowing additional funds. This has meant that I haven’t been able to do all of the things I’d love to do with the business as quickly as I’d like, but it is very important to me to retire the debt. Besides, it’s a great motivator to keep pushing for more sales!

Did you have a business plan?

My business plan is an ever-changing document, as I learn more from women who have been down this path before me and are mentoring me. One of my goals for the summer is to sit down with a mentor and hammer out a formal business plan so that I can better track goals, successes and setbacks. Doing the formal research into my target market, competitors, etc will also help to give me a clearer picture as to how I can expand and compete in the marketplace.

How do you handle it when sales are slow?

There are always so many things to be done, that some days it’s a relief to not have orders to fill so that I can work on other necessary projects. But I don’t like having too many of those days in a row! Staying focused on the blessings I know are to come help me to keep a positive outlook and keep my energy up.

What are your goals for your business, short and long-term?

I have specific financial goals for this year, my first full calendar year in business. Marketing and networking will be a big priority for me the remainder of the year in order to reach those goals. I want to expand the number of wholesale accounts we have, and I want my private label division to continue growing as it has been since it opened in April. Long-term goals include expanding into international wholesale accounts (we already have a private label contract with a company overseas) as well as a brick and mortar storefront. I want the business to grow to where I can hire staff and create a positive, supportive work environment where people are happy to come to work and they know they’ll be encouraged and rewarded for their creativity, hard work and customer service. Most of all, I want the company to continue producing incredible, natural spa products that truly help the customer feel pampered.

How do you balance business with personal and family life?

This can be difficult at times, but I am blessed with an incredibly supportive husband who steps in and helps out whenever and however he can. My daughter is just 20 months old, so during the day, I really try to focus on her (although I’m guilty of checking my email while she’s playing by herself!) But as soon as she goes down for a nap, then I start working at full speed. After my husband is home and we have dinner and unwind as a family, then I work for a bit again. The majority of tasks get done late at night when everyone is asleep, but I’m working on changing this so that mom can get some sleep as well!

Do you have a website? Blog?

The website is www.vintagebodyspa.com. The blog is not currently active, some changes are being made behind the scenes and should be up by early fall.

What advice do you have for other entrepreneurs?

Have fun! There was a reason you went into business for yourself – don’t get bogged down by the stresses, the ‘to-do’ list, etc – stay focused on the goals you’ve set for yourself and keep steadily working towards them – you will reach them!

Life on earth is short, so have fun and involve your family as much as you can – not only will it make your job easier by delegating tasks, but your family will take ownership and become invested in seeing it become a successful business, and you’ll create great memories along the way.

Surround yourself with other positive women entrepreneurs – not only for the networking aspects, but also to keep your spirits lifted during trying times. Pay it forward as much as you can….blessings WILL come back to you tenfold!

Medicare Legislation In The House June 24th June 24, 2008

From an e-mail I received today, June 23, 2008 from the American Medical Association Patient’s Action Network. This is not only important to current Medicare patients but will affect ALL of us in the future.  Please make your voice heard and speak up for those who can’t speak for themselves.

As we mentioned in our last Medicare update, “the Medicare issue is still very much alive, but the situation will remain fluid and potentially change quickly.” Well, that prediction is coming true!

The U.S. House of Representatives plans to take up a bill tomorrow—on Tuesday, June 24—to stop the Medicare cuts that are coming on July 1.

Please call Representative Boren NOW and urge a YES vote on H.R. 6331, the “Medicare Improvements for Patients and Providers Act of 2008.” Use our hotline at (888) 434-6200.

There is not enough time for e-mails—phone calls are the only way to make your voice heard in time!

If you’ve never called a congressional office before, check out our guide to “Communicating with Congress.” To see how the cuts will impact patients and physicians in your state, click here and pull down your state.

Thank you for your tireless work on this issue. Your participation in the Patients Action Network is very important and deeply appreciated!

© AMA, Patient’s Action Network | All Rights Reserved

Harmonic Wealth – The Movie – Free Showing Sunday June 22, 2008

James Arthur Ray, one of the teachers from the movie The Secret, is introducing his new movie with a free showing today, Sunday, June 22nd.  This might be a little late for some people but I wanted to give it a shot anyway for those who might be interested.  Please go here for details:

Parthena Black – The Other Side

The Best Year Of Your Life Kit At The Dreams And Visions Shoppe

Fearless Friday – Tammy McCain, White Iris Designs June 20, 2008

Welcome to another edition of Fearless Friday!  I’m excited to present a very special treat – a Fearless Female Entrepreneur with TWO – count ‘em – TWO businesses!  She is a “floral designer by day – jewelry designer by night…..”  This is especially inspiring to me because I’ve had difficulty narrowing down which of my passions to focus on.  I want to do it all and that’s not the best plan when you’re just starting out.  It’s encouraging to see that it is very possible to be successful at more than one business, especially when they complement each other so well.  Tammy’s love for what she does and her confidence in where she is going shine through in her personality.  She’s always “up” and and “up for” having some fun with her great sense of humor.  Tammy is always there with words of encouragement and support for others.  Her creative gifts are evident in her unique jewelry designs and floral arrangements.  She exemplifies the wonderful words of advice that she offers at the end of the interview.  Enjoy this glimpse into her world and please join me in wishing her continued success.

And now, I give you Tammy of White Iris Designs.

Which came first, the jewelry or the flowers?

The flowers definitely came first. I have loved flowers since I was a little girl spending time on my maternal grandparents’ farm. She had all of the old fashioned standards, lilacs, wisteria, snowball bushes, hydrangeas, and peonies. I can also remember sneaking to the rose bushes that divided our yard from the neighbors and cutting roses off to take to my mom.  My first real memory of designing with flowers was when I was about 10 or 11; I entered something in the county fair and won Grand Champion. But my first real floral design job was my senior year of high school I got a job at a local florist. Funny thing, her daughter is the owner of  the other flower shop in the town where my shop is located.

The jewelry came about 3-4 years ago from my love of unique designs that I could wear and not go out and see the same pieces on other women. I am not one for mass produced pieces. I love art beads like lamp work glass, ceramic beads, forged metal etc. Using this kind of beads in my designs makes pieces that are not only one of a kind, but it is like wearing a little piece of art. My only problem is that I get attached to pieces and it is hard sometimes for me to sell them, because I know that I will never be able to get those beads just like them again.

So now I am know as the Floral Designer by Day ~ Jewelry Designer by Night

What inspired you to create your own business?

I had worked in other flower shops and felt like I was stifled creatively and really did not like the styles of designs that I was being forced to make. So almost 8 years ago I got asked if I might be interested in purchasing an existing little flower shop. It took me over 6 months to decide to go for it. I changed the name and the style of designs and it took off from there. After about a year in that location, I had out grown the space and I moved to a larger location. I am now in the process of trying to decide what my next move should be. On that, I will have to keep you posted as the details unfold.

How did you fund your business(es)?

I borrowed the money from a bank with my father-in-law as my cosigner. That part really worried me. I was so afraid that if it were to fail, my father-in-law would be held accountable for the loss and I would be humiliated and an embarrassment to my husband’s family name. Not only was my father-in –law the owner of our family farm, he was in public office and was a very well known sports official in and around our state. That was my great motivator to make it work.

How long did it take to feel that your business was a success?

Well since it was an already established business with a customer base, all I had to do was expand on that. People loved my designs from the start because they were unique. It just took off from there. I also offer gifts and some home accessories.

Are you able to devote all of your time to your passions?  i.e., do you have another job?

Well, no I do not have another job… but I do design jewelry also. That is something that I do in the evenings or at the shop when business is slow with the flowers. There is never enough time to do all that I want to do, because if it is artsy in any way I want to try it. I have been known to do other kinds of art, such as paint my own ceramic beads, I have dabbled in lamp work bead making and I also draw occasionally. I have done some pieces using soft pastels. But no, I fear I will never be able to do all that I would like that I am interested in.

Do you feel that you have enough time and energy to invest in both ends of your business?

No, there are not enough hours in my day or enough energy in my mind. I have too many things that I would like to do but I also have to just stop, I need my sleep. LOL

Did you have any reservations about starting more than one business?  Challenges?

Not really, because the whole jewelry end of my business really was never intended to become a “business”. That just happened as a result of my accumulating what is known as a “bead stash” in my living room, that my husband really wanted me to relocate. So 3 summers ago I took the “stash” to the flower shop and opened up a bead section there. We offer beads, beading supplies, findings and offer classes on occasion. We also do birthday beading parties for young girls.

How do you balance work and play?

Well if you know anything about most creative minds, they tend to get bored easily. At least I do. So I really have no problem balancing that. I love to kick back on the weekends and piddle in my flower and herb gardens. I even enjoy mowing the yard…ipod full of great music and a pretty tan kind of makes a chore fun for me.

Do you have a website?  Blog?

Yes, my blog is whiteirisdesigns.blogspot.com
And my website, which I am hoping will be going live very soon is whiteirisdesigns.com
I will be showcasing mostly my jewelry on the website for now, but I am planning to add the flowers to it in the future. You can see galleries of both of my floral and jewelry designs there.

Do you spend more time building your businesses locally or online?

Wow, that is a great question, I would say that in the past mostly locally, but now with the addition of the website, I have been working on that a lot. So at this point in time I would have to say both.

What advice do you have for other women beginning a business?

Don’t ever let someone tell you that your dreams are impossible. I’ve always wanted to own my own flower shop, so when the opportunity presented itself, I thought to myself that if I didn’t do this, I would always wonder, what if. Could I have been successful?

Believe in your product or skill and never compromise your standards or style for anyone. In the back of my mind, I am always thinking, does what I am putting out there for the consumers represent ME? Is it something that I would purchase and am I proud of what it is? That is also all I ask of those who work for me…be your own creative person and as long as the designs you make look like they came from White Iris Designs, then I am happy. I will never stifle someone’s creativity like what happened to me. It will make you crazy.

And my last piece of advice is to be truly passionate about what you are doing. I thoroughly love what I do and I think it shows in both floral and jewelry designs.

Click Here For Previous Fearless Friday Features And More Blogs On Women In Business

Anniversaries and Grief June 18, 2008

Our minds are strange and wonderful things. They hold so much in the way of our thoughts and memories. Our moods and days can be changed in an instant by the songs we hear, fragrances in the air, sights we see and even the weather. Certain emotions and behaviors brought about by these influences can sometimes go on for weeks. Something’s “off” but we don’t quite know the cause. Sometimes we never do figure it out and just move through it, and sometimes a look at the calendar can shock us into clarity and understanding.

Today is the three year anniversary of Joe’s passing. He went into the hospital for the final time on May 20th. I can’t remember my sister’s birthday but I can remember that date, go figure. We literally lived there until he chose to let go in the early morning hours of June 18th, three days before his 40th birthday. I had tried to persuade him to “do it right” and die on his birthday but he didn’t want to wait. So instead, I chose to have his memorial on his birthday. It seemed fitting.

It was kind of fun watching people’s reactions to the birthday balloons in the viewing room at the funeral home until we explained. Most agreed that it was an appropriate way to celebrate his life and were present when we released them after his burial at the cemetery.

I suppose I’m making some progress. During the three short years we had, I worked hard to create an income from home so that I could be there to take care of him. After over a year of hard work and seemingly getting nowhere, things started to take off right before he went into the hospital. It was quite discouraging to refuse orders. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t pick it up again until just a few months ago, around mid-April, shortly before this anniversary came up. The timing is rather significant, I think.

I’m still pretty angry with him for not letting on that he was getting sicker and angry at myself for believing my denial. He knew it for a long time and had even dreamed that it was time almost exactly a year before he went into the hospital in May. I remembered when I found the entry in one of my journals.

I won’t go to the cemetery. Or maybe I will. It’s awfully muddy right now. I don’t have to go there to remember him or to “visit” him. He’s with me all the time and evidence of his journey here hangs on the walls and sits on the shelves, the artist who saw the artist in me.

If it doesn’t rain for a few more days, maybe I’ll go on his birthday and release some balloons. I think he’d approve.

Bereavement Dreaming And The Indivuating Soul

Learn To Sculpt And Just About Anything Else Right At Home! June 17, 2008

I hope you don’t mind if we skip the deep, philosophical stuff for a day….you don’t? Thanks!

I ran across SmartFlix.com How-To DVDs several months ago and haven’t had time to spread the word other than slapping their banner on the website. At the time, I had been eying polymer clay instructional DVD’s from Patricia Rose and White Gothic Studios, wishing like mad that my book and DVD money wasn’t all going into the gas tank.

When someone on a forum recommended it, I really did not believe that they would carry anything much better than the tutorial videos on YouTube. You could have knocked me over with a feather when I discovered DVD’s from the best and most well-known polymer clay artists in the country – Jack Johnston, Wendy Froud, Patricia Rose, Margene Crossan and Wayne ‘The Dane’ Hansen are just some of the artists available to teach figure sculpting, polymer clay jewelry making and more!

SmartFlix is a service that rents video DVDs – just like your corner video store… but they rent the kind of videos that you won’t find in every video rental store. Smartflix has videos on running lathes, making glass beads, welding steel, oil painting, building guitars… cool videos!

Rent online, at any time of day, and get the videos shipped straight to you (with return postage included free!).

1. Most videos are just $9.99 each (a few are more), per week. All multi-dvd sets of videos are discounted.
2. SmartFlix will send you the video in a cardboard mailer (there is no shipping charge!).
3. You get to watch the video for one week, then you put the video back in the cardboard mailer, stick a pre-printed return-address and return-postage label on the mailer, and drop it in the mail (no stamps needed! Your initial payment covers everything!) Shipments to Canada do not include return postage.Here’s what they mean by “one week”: If the video arrives at your address on a Wednesday, you must put it in the mail on or before the following Wednesday. I e-mailed them to ask what would happen in case of mail delays and their customer service staff told me that this can usually be resolved as long as they are notified.

Instructional and tutorial videos can be expensive and often end up buried on a shelf after we’re finished with them. Classes and workshops cost money as well and often require travel. With 5,947 videos in 228 categories, SmartFlix.com How-To DVDs is the self-taught artisan and do-it-yourself enthusiast’s dream come true!

Sign Up Today!

This Just In – Top Ten How-To DVD’s For July 2008

Tutorials Page – Parthena Black – Dreams In Polymer Clay And Wire

Two New Squidoos June 16, 2008

I’ve had a very busy weekend! In between all the work I did manage to visit some friends and enjoy a swim in their huge pool. It was heaven! I also found time to write two new Squidoo lenses.

People Helping People To Make Money Online

is a great resource full of information on affiliate and multi-level marketing as well as social and business networking. I’ve begun making money from BigCrumbs.com and wanted to share that this wonderful program is indeed legitimate. I’m also introducing MyPowerMall.com, a program that I just discovered that has similar, if not greater potential.

Before You Hire A Home Contractor – Get The Scoop!

is another great resource providing tips for hiring a home service contractor and detailing the benefits of membership with AngiesList.com. This service provides reviews of services in your area along with serving as a liaison between the homeowner and contractor.

Please checkout my other lenses if you haven’t done so already:

Creating Polymer Clay Artist Dolls

Learn To Make Wire Sculpted Jewelry

Lights, Cameras, Auctions!

The Fairy Society – Business And World Art Networking

I hope that everyone had a wonderful weekend! and wish you a creative and prosperous week!

The Super Affiliate Handbook

Fearless Friday – Judy Atchison Campbell June 13, 2008

Welcome to another edition of Fearless Friday! (I’ve already lost count, that’s a good thing!) I’m excited about interviewing one of the artists I met at The Fairy Society, Judy Atchison Campbell. I was immediately impressed with Judy for two reasons. First, she jumped right in to offer help and advice to a beginner like me and second, with photos of a mural that she has done for a local children’s facility in her profile there. Add to that the sculptures that have come out of the characters in her paintings and you can see how she easily became one of my most admired women.

We’re all too familiar with the term “starving artist,” which implies that it is difficult to make a living as an artist. Judy proves otherwise and makes it sound as typical as any other job. I normally don’t include lengthy bios but Judy’s is inspiring and fascinating. It must be included to complete the story. Enjoy this glimpse into the world of a successful artist and please join me in wishing her continued success.

Judy’s website info is listed within the bio and interview. She also has a new OOAK piece up for sale. This piece is the result of a wonderful tutorial that Judy posted and shared at The Fairy Society. As she tells us below, it’s rare for her to sell her sculptures! Take a look at this opportunity to own one:

The Little Mermaid #119

This is a new auction site, and Judy’s work is featured in one of their video ads:

MagnoliaLane

Born and raised in a small town in rural Missouri, Judy Atchison Campbell began her career in art at a very early age. Creating one of a kind artist renderings for decorations in yards, school plays, and sketches for T-shirts, she was rarely without pencil and paper or paints. Married to her high school sweetheart at 17, her travels around the world began early when her husband joined the Air Force in 1969. By age 23 she found herself a stay-at-home mom of four little girls and very little spare time for her love of art other than doll clothing and fairy tales.

By the time the girls were in school, Judy’s aspiration of being an artist was once again in full swing. She began collecting art books and studying every inch of every photo inside. Within a year she had lined a 15 foot hallway from top to bottom with her practice pieces. The end of the year found her teaching art classes for the Morale, Welfare and Recreation Department on military installations in oils, acrylics and pastels. A whole new world opened up and she soon realized that she enjoyed teaching her profession as much as she enjoyed creating new works.

She specialized in animal and people portraits for several years throughout her family’s travels. In 1980 she was hired as Staff Artist for a wildlife museum in Louisiana. While there she was able to further study actual specimens of wildlife and their habitats. Working along side the owner, she helped sculpt and create forms for the exhibits as well as designing and painting the majority of the dioramas, displays and even on occasion an actual specimen. Active in her community, she was also President of the Bossier City Arts Council, and designed and helped produce a child safe Haunted House each year at a local military installation.

Returning once more to an overseas assignment with her family, she was contracted again with the Morale Welfare and Recreation Department. This time she created outdoor sports murals, ranging in size from ten feet to two hundred in length, many the height of two story buildings. Upon her husbands retirement, Judy quit the mural business for a while, and opened her own studio and gift shop where she taught private painting classes for several years. She worked in a porcelain doll factory covering all aspects of the porcelain doll process. Within two years she had been trained as the master mold maker and produced all molds within the company.

When carpal tunnel became a problem for making molds, she quit the factory and returned to creating murals in her local hometown. Often doing custom portraits, animals, antique cars and childrens wards in numerous hospital pediatrics, she always kept an interest in doll related crafts, and when she found herself the grandmother of little girls, she began writing fantasy stories about their mothers and the farm where they had retired. Discovering polymer clay was a dream come true for Judy. As in her mind the true test of an artist was to master the medium of sculpture. Again she is totally self taught, and with the simplicity of finding an easy way to master the techniques, she also has found a love of teaching it to others. Judy now works out of her home doing commission pieces, teaching classes in all her favored mediums, writing instruction books, jotting down her fantasy tales, and still painting murals in her spare time.

murals, sculpture and fantasy art

http://www.picturetrail.com/camatch

my artistic ramblings

http://360.yahoo.com/camatch

What inspired you to begin creating art?

My older brother Bill was a graphic designer and free lance artist for various companies.

Have you had professional teaching or are you self-taught?

No, no professional teachings in any of the mediums I work with. I am completely self-taught.

What is your favorite medium?

Painting is my favorite medium, it just flows with complete ease for me and has since I was about 7 or 8 years old…sculpting is my second favorite,and something I didn’t do until later in life, but I have to work at it a lot. I love the idea that I can paint something from my heart and soul and then reproduce it in 3D if I desire. The bad thing is that I am a ” mood ” artist. The creativity is always there for me, but the moods are not. The good thing is …if I’m not in the mood to create in one medium…I can usually get in the mood for another.

another of my favorite artist things to do…..is write fairytale type stories for my sculpts. I have been doing this since I started sculpting 9 or so years ago. All my characters link in some way or another to the same fantasy place. I also have another blog where I have several tutorials, stories etc….it’s my yahoo 360 blog page…

How do you get your art out there?

My work is in museums and many public access buildings. People see my murals and usually call me based on what they see. As for my sculptures, I rarely sell any as I create most of them for my own self indulgence. Occassionally I do list one in an auction somewhere.

Have you made an income from your art?

Yes I have been a muralist and painting instructor for almost 40 years.

Are you able to devote all of your time to your art, or do you have another job?

No public job, but I do care for an elderly parent and with 13 grandchildren time is rare these days….but I devote as much time as I can spare to my art.

If you have another job or other responsibilities, how do you find time for your art?

I’m basically a ” 5 hour sleeper”….always have been. So when everyone else is going to bed or still asleep…I’m still up doing my art.

What advice do you have for other artists?

Follow your dreams…if you want it badly enough, it will happen!

I Have The Answers Now – Well, One Of Them June 12, 2008

So, I bought the last existing copy in three counties of The Secret on CD at one of the many Wal-mart’s I visit in my travels…….I had quite an argument with myself over whether to buy it. The current tool I’m using to cut back on my spending is the question, “Do I need it?” I’m in the car for fifty percent of my day and have a good selection of stuff to listen to.  I should never be bored but I do get tired of the ’same old, same old.’ I justified this purchase as being part of the research for my book. I’m glad that I did buy it. I have a lot of issues with the movie and Rhonda Byrne is not exactly one of my heroines, but had I known that the audio was so superior I would have skipped the movie altogether. Without all of the visual hype, the book on audio is not as “fluffy” and “magical” and has a plethora of good thoughts to reflect upon. It could have been recorded on two CD’s instead of four, but that’s another discussion of how Rhonda Byrne chose to make her money.

As a social worker who has been through her own share of challenges, I have often been frustrated by clients who seemingly refuse to change. I frequently caught myself judging them by comparing what each of us had been through and wonder why I was able to do it when they either couldn’t or wouldn’t.

I’ll have to get back to you with a chapter reference – one little “paragraph” holds the key. People do not change their behaviors and beliefs when “it is all they’ve ever known.” This makes sense in so many ways. Those who grow up in certain socio-economic classes and have seen few, if any, get out successfully are going to have a very difficult time believing that there is anything better for them. It is more comfortable to coast along in the land of “all I’ve ever known.”

One of the more frustrating discussions I had with my late husband, who lived with cystic fibrosis, was his downright refusal to have hope. I suppose that this piece of the audio shouted above all the rest because it jogged my memories of him saying, “It’s all I’ve ever known.” While living with the illness was challenging, difficult and often downright inconvenient, it had his perks and he would brag about them. For instance, it got him out of ever having to work and he found ways to have whatever he wanted despite not having an income. He was a genius with finance companies, robbing Peter to pay Paul and having an excellent credit rating all the while. Mom and Dad were always there to make sure that he didn’t starve or do without utilities and the tiny disability check ensured that he wouldn’t become homeless. He would tell people that the “government paid him to cough” and his mother often bought t-shirts and other items with funny quotes about being lazy and not having a job.

He admitted to me that if he didn’t hope for healing, he could never be disappointed.

Wow.

Hearing this one small statement really pulled it all together for me. It explains everything from fear of success to why we choose to stay sick. Oh, we may not think that we choose to stay sick and I’d be the first to argue the point – but when it’s presented this way even I have no choice but to agree.

If I’m 100 percent healthy, if I have all the resources I need, if there are no challenges and nothing in my way, then I might have to move out of my comfort zone and extend myself – in other words, I might have to work – but the piece that our stuck in the comfort zone minds miss is that when we’re doing what we dream of doing it doesn’t feel like work – and this is how we set ourselves up to fail.

We will not change until the “comfort zone” becomes the “discomfort zone,” when the incongruence of what we say we want and what we’re settling for becomes uncomfortable enough to venture into the unknown. For me, I believe that this evolved over a long period of time and included making several aborted attempts that sent me running back into that safe zone before I was able to decide that it was neither safe nor comfortable or even easier. It would be very easy to blame fibromyalgia, my age, my history for everything I’m not doing, but the bottom line is that whether I have fibro or not, no one else is going to create my life, my health or my happiness for me. I am the only one who can do that. The question is not whether I can but whether I’m willing to take that responsibility and act on it.

Which zone will you choose today?

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